Perspective

Last night I had the weirdest dream about car crashes. I even woke up to myself yelling at Paul, I guess I thought he was driving in my dream and I feel horrible about it! I think it has something to do with how I feel. I think I'm feeling torn between two places in life right now.

On one path its perfect and on the other its like a bit depressing. The first path is walking straight into light towards and with God, the other one is remembering things from my past. I know most of my past is kinda depressing but on the upside I am stronger and beginning to get bolder because of it.

The only thing that I feel confused about is staying true to myself, because I feel like there is a war going on around me and I am in the middle waiting to figure out where I belong.

I am starting to figure out who I am instead of being told who I am.

I want to be someone that youth wants to hang around and someone who helps them when they feel like they have nothing left to give. Everyone has something to say and give and what I hate the most is people who hurt others and I have seen way too much of it. I've even been through it myself. People don't realize what they are doing until its been done. Words are so powerful and I want to make a difference. I want to be encouraging instead of a discouraging. I think I do a really good job at it already but there is always room for improvement.

I feel like there isn't much love in the world, and yes I do know that sounds cheesy. I just want people to know where my heart is. My heart is always going to be the same because its always been this way. My heart is emotionally attached to people. If I call you a friend I mean it and it will never change. I will always be there for you and I will not change any more because honestly I am tired of worrying about what people think about me. If I change its gonna be because I want to change.

I will never give up what I am meant to do. I will always be here for the youth and nothing is gonna change.